What Happens at a Romance Reader Retreat? A Guide

If you have ever seen the phrase romance reader retreat and thought, “Okay, this sounds aggressively like something I would love, but what do people actually do and what happens at a romance reader retreat?”, you are not alone.

Because I’m betting on your head, it could go one of two ways.

Option one: a beautiful, bookish, grown-woman escape with a perfect reading nook, a dramatic outfit you have been saving for the right occasion, excellent food, women who understand why a morally gray man with a sword is sometimes the only thing getting you through the horrendous work week, and enough breathing room where you don’t have to say “let me just have my frist damn cup of coffee before you need me”. 

Option two: you arrive somewhere gorgeous and immediately get handed a name tag, a color-coded itinerary, and the social responsibility of a summer camper at a sleepaway camp. Y’all, I may have a little trauma from summer camp lol.

Absolutely not.

A romance reader retreat should be (IMO) a curated, luxury group trip for women who love romance, romantasy, and the deeply specific joy of talking about books, and the characters we love to hate, with people who already get it. It should include beautiful places, good food, bookish conversation, a few unique and memorable experiences, and plenty of room to read, rest, wander, and be a whole person without performing for anybody.

And yes, there may be spice-level conversations. There may be castle libraries. There may be a dress you bought because your book boyfriend would absolutely approve, and youuu preen internally because you approve too.

But the point is not to make content all day or act like you are in a forced friendship experiment.

The point is to finally immerse yourself in a story and feel completely at ease.

Quick Answer: What Happens at a Romance Reader Retreat?

A romance reader retreat is a cozy getaway where women gather to celebrate their love for romance, romantasy, and immersive storytelling. Depending on the destination, guests can enjoy local excursions, shared meals, relaxed book discussions, themed activities, crafts, and quiet reading time.

The best retreats balance connection and personal freedom, allowing you to join in for dinner, find a quiet spot to read, dress up for a theme, or skip optional activities, all while feeling included.

You are seen, not performing. All of my retreats are paced moderately, with plenty of downtime, scheduled events that are FUN and create lifelong memories, and, of course, the option to rest. I balance encouragement of participating in group activities with permission to skip things. But I do not overplan. We are not rushing, but not sitting on our hands either. 

First: A Romance Reader Retreat Is Not a Regular Girls’ Trip

I love a girls’ trip, but I also understand why they can become exhausting even before you reach the airport. 

• Someone has to pick the destination. 
• Someone has to keep the group chat moving forward after 47 messages that somehow answer none of the important questions. 
• Someone has to compare hotel rooms, figure out transfers, collect money, make dinner reservations, decide if everyone is joining the excursion, and manage the emotional dynamics when someone gets frustrated with the itinerary. 

And often, that person is you. 

What happens at a romance reader retreat is different because the infrastructure is already in place. The destination, pacing, experience design, group dynamics, and logistics are all thoughtfully planned by the host- me, a professional travel advisor and retreat host. You get to focus on the fun decisions like what to wear, what to read, and whether to choose a cocktail or tea instead of managing all the operational details.

What makes it different from a DIY girls’ trip?

My own nightmare girl’s trip
My friends and I decided to have a little reunion in New Orleans. Everyone agreed it would be low-key and laid-back. Even before I became a travel advisor, I KNEW that there needed to be someone in charge. Too much gets lost in the crossfire if nobody is actually planning and curating anything. And that is what happened. It felt like we all just met up in New Orleans bc some people didn’t book the hotel we agreed on bc it was sold out when they remembered they needed reservations, so we were scattered throughout the city. Fine, whatever, but that meant we had to coordinate meeting at all the different places we wanted to go, and no one provided cohesive communication (everyone was having side texts…annoying). A LOT of our time was spent talking about what to do, when to meet, and then Googling opening and closing times because nothing was curated; some people were scared that if I planned it (being the natural magician here), it would have been regimented. And like, no!!! I guarantee in our 4-day trip, they would have still had HOURS to nap, or to go to a spa, or take an individual food tour, or go shopping on their own, especially had we all been in one central location. 

What Does a Typical Day at a Romance Reader Retreat Look Like?

Every destination will shape the exact schedule. A Scotland retreat should not feel identical to a villa retreat in Aruba, and a witchy autumn weekend in Salem (or New Orleans) should not have the same rhythm as a bookish river cruise aboard the Rhine.

But the overall experience is usually a mix of a few memorable things, a few slower things, and room to be a person in between.

Here is an example of what a day might feel like so you get a clear idea of what happens at a romance reader retreat.

Morning: Slow Start, Good Coffee, No Weirdly Early Wake-Up Call

You wake up in a beautiful place. Maybe there is mist outside the window. Maybe you have a quiet cup of coffee before anyone else is up. Maybe you are still in pajamas at 10:00 a.m. because nobody is making you rush to a sunrise yoga class you did not ask for.

Breakfast or brunch is a real meal, not a protein bar handed to you as somebody tells you to “seize the day.”

There may be an optional movement session, a short group check-in via a fun game, or a casual bookish prompt. There may also be absolutely nothing scheduled until later because rest counts as part of the experience.

That is not wasted time. That is luxury. And I can promise you, as a fitness coach and yoga teacher, I will offer yoga and yummy movement as part of every retreat experience, but it will sure as shit not be at sunrise, bc y’all…I can’t lol!

Midday: A Curated Destination Experience

This is where the travel part comes alive.

Depending on where we are, that could look like:

• A private Highlands tour or historic castle visit in Scotland
• A bookshop, café, market, or literary walking experience
• A destination-specific craft or creative class
• A scenic drive, coastal stop, or guided cultural experience
• A local food, whisky, wine, tea, or tasting experience
• A low-key group outing that lets you enjoy the place without having to research it yourself

The key word is curated.

You are not standing in the lobby at 8:00 a.m. trying to decide between twelve TripAdvisor tabs while one person in the group says, “Whatever you guys want is fine,” knowing damn well that isn’t the way it ever works. 

The work has been done. You get to show up and enjoy the plot.

Afternoon: Protected Time for Reading, Rest, or Wandering

This is what makes my retreats different.

Afternoons are not filler time between the “real” activities. They are protected on purpose. And depending on the length of the trip, some afternoons might include a longer tour from that morning, but it is balanced. If we have a longer day, the evening is free, and vice versa. 

You might:

• Read in a fireplace nook, garden, balcony, lounge, or your own room
• Take a nap with zero apology
• Explore a local shop or café
• Write, journal, draw, or work on a craft
• Have a quiet drink and stare dramatically out a window like the heroine in an atmospheric romance
• Take a walk alone or with one new friend
• Skip the optional thing because you are halfway through a book and your fictional man is about to do something extremely important.

You don’t need to earn downtime by being social first.

My own afternoons as your host are really important to me because I want to be the best version of myself for you! I live what I preach, so I might disappear for intentional rest, to call my kids, or to do a little shopping while y’all get to build the relationships I have helped to facilitate, or you might choose to go zonk out too. 

Evening: Shared Meals, Book Talk, and Optional Main-Character Moments

Evenings are where the group connection tends to happen naturally.

There might be a beautiful dinner from a local chef or hidden-gem restaurant (reservations already made and done by me!). A casual conversation about what everyone is reading. A trope discussion that spirals into somebody defending a fictional man who is objectively a red flag but also, somehow, still perfect.

There may be a themed experience such as the aforementioned atmospheric dinner, a dress-up moment, a private tasting, a reading salon, a fantasy-inspired craft, or a local activity that feels like it belongs in the setting, such as Celtic dancing in Scotland or stargazing in Norway.

You do not need to perform enthusiasm if your social battery is done for the day. You can eat, laugh, listen, go to bed early, or quietly tell everyone, “Peace out, I have a book to finish.”

Do I Have to Be Extroverted to Join a Romance Reader Retreat?

No. Truly, deeply, no.

You do not need to be extroverted. You do not need to be the woman who walks into a room and instantly knows how to make friends. You do not need to be good at small talk. You do not need to have a perfectly curated Instagram presence.

Many women drawn to romance reader retreats are high-achieving, creative, neurodivergent, introverted, socially selective, or simply tired of being“on” for everybody else. That doesn’t mean you don’t want connection. It usually means you want connection that does not require a performance.

At a thoughtfully hosted retreat, the room already has a shared language. You do not have to explain why you read romance. You do not have to defend your love of smut, fantasy worlds, dramatic yearning, or the book that ruined you for three business days.

You can join the conversation, listen from the edge of it, or have a one-on-one conversation with someone over coffee later. The goal is not forced bonding. It is creating a setting where friendship can happen organically.

And believe it or not, I, Heather, am naturally an introvert. I have trained myself to become more extroverted bc I do have a deep-seated desire to find like-minded friends (which is why I started hosting trips!). And yes, you will get slight encouragement from me to challenge yourself just a little so you too can form deep bonds. I know I am creating these trips with the right kind of woman, so pushing past the itty bitty discomfort will be welcome because you know the payoff is incredible, and you know that your autonomy and authentic self are truly, truly welcome!

What Do People Actually Talk About?

Books, obviously.

But also travel, careers, kids, relationships, weird life stories, favorite snacks, what they used to want when they were younger, and the things they are finally allowing themselves to want now. Memes they love. Values they have: love is love, Black Lives Matter, how to be a better steward of Earth. 80s and 90s nostalgia. The Office. Suppose pineapple goes on pizza (yeah, it does). What Marie Antoinette actually said and who we think Jack the Ripper actually was. You know, just normal neurotypical conversation lol.

The conversations are rarely just:

“What chapter are you on?”

They become:

“Wait, you also loved that book?”
“You felt that way too?”
“You are the first person I have ever met who understands why that scene mattered.”
“Why have we not been friends for ten years?”

These are just a few examples of not only what happens at a romance reader retreat, but the kinds of bookish convos that get spirited!

Will There Be Time to Read Alone?

Yes. There should be.

I am not planning a retreat for women who love reading and then scheduling them so tightly that they have to read on the plane home. A bookish retreat needs actual bookish time.

That means space for parallel play: being together without needing to interact every second. You might be reading next to another woman in the same room. You might both look up every so often to say, “Okay, this man is being insane,” and then go right back to your books….or you might read entirely alone.

Both are perfect.

The luxury is not just the private room, beautiful accommodation, good food, or special excursion. The luxury is permission to have quiet without feeling antisocial, behind, or rude.

What Should I Look for Before Booking a Romance Reader Retreat?

Not every retreat is designed the same way. Before you put down a deposit, look for details that tell you whether the host understands the kind of experience you want.

Ask these questions first.

• What is included in the price, and what will I need to budget for separately?
• How large is the group?
• Are there private-room options?
• How many activities are scheduled per day?
• Are excursions optional, included, or additional?
• Is there built-in free time?
• What kind of travelers is the retreat designed for?
• What is the cancellation and travel-insurance policy?
• How are dietary needs, mobility needs, and different social styles handled?

A beautiful mood board is lovely. A clear, well-considered guest experience is better.

You want both and I provide that every time. I even offer to Zoom with people who find my blog, my socials, etc and are like “ok, is she real or a bot”? You get to talk to me, see my messy-ass but very pink workspace, and probably hear my absolutely feral kids in the background. I don’t think that particular detail can be faked. Hopefully, that will give you a clearer idea too of what happens at a romance reader retreat.

What Makes a Romance Reader Retreat Feel Luxurious?

Luxury isn’t just a fancy hotel or a pretty place to take pictures.

For the women I work with, luxury means not carrying invisible work or having their daily emotional labor constantly ignored. 

It looks like:

• A host who has already thought through the logistics
• Accommodations chosen for comfort, atmosphere, privacy, and actual rest
• Space to be alone without feeling excluded
• Small-group experiences that feel personal instead of cattle-call busy and are specifically for our group
• Food and destination experiences that are worth slowing down for because it is an indulgence
• A group of women who already understand at least one very important part of you
• The ability to say, “I do not want to decide today,” and have that be okay and taken care of for you

What About My Scotland Romance Reader Retreat?

My first Scotland romance reader retreat is planned for Fall 2027.

Think moody Edinburgh light, a private Highlands tour, whisky in pubs that do not show up on Google, and a stay somewhere completely, quaintly Scottish. I am still deciding between a castle and a cottage because that is my job, not yours.

It is for the woman who runs everyone’s calendar, moods, appointments, and logistics before she’s even had coffee. The woman who wants to bring her prettiest dress, her favorite Scottish book couple, and absolutely no spreadsheet.

You do not plan a thing. You just show up and get seen… by the women next to you, and by me, with no performing required.

Read about the Scotland women’s retreat and join the waitlist.

Frequently Asked Questions: what happens at a romance reader retreat

Can I come alone to a romance reader retreat?

Yes. Many women come solo. You are not expected to arrive with a friend, and the retreat structure is designed to make the first day feel welcoming rather than awkward. I actually apply many frameworks, backward design, and various psychological safety techniques so that the little bit of anxiety you feel quickly turns into excitement!

Do I need to read a specific book before I come?

Not necessarily. Some retreats may include optional read-alongs, a themed reading list, or book-club discussion prompts, but you should always be able to bring and enjoy the books you actually want to read. I do have a reading list for Courted: Wooed by Your Own Damn Life, and it is collaborative so people can add their recs too!

Are romance reader retreats only for extroverts?

No. A good romance reader retreat should have a balance of shared experiences, quiet time, optional activities, and no pressure to be socially “on” all day.

Do I have to participate in every activity?

No. At my retreats, autonomy is part of the luxury. You can choose the experiences that appeal to you and take time for reading, resting, or wandering when you need it. The price is all-inclusive and not piecemeal. I annotate which items are more casual and which work better with everyone participating as suggestions so you know what to expect and aren’t left in ambiguity. But nothing is required. 

What should I pack for a bookish retreat?

Bring comfortable layers, shoes suitable for the destination, one or two outfits that make you feel incredible, your current read, and anything that makes reading time more comfortable. Once a retreat itinerary is finalized, guests should receive destination-specific packing guidance and details about that retreat, not just a “what happens at a romance reader retreat” generalization.

Are romance reader retreats worth the cost?

They can be, if you value curated travel, built-in community, thoughtful pacing, special access or experiences, and the ability to enjoy a destination without carrying the planning labor. The right retreat is not simply a vacation because I view it as a highly designed experience where the setting, people, logistics, and rhythm work together.

The Short Version

A romance reader retreat is not about escaping your real life because you hate it. Instead, it is about remembering that you get to be a central character in it.

You get the destination. You get the beautiful meal. You get the bookish conversation, the great outfit, the quiet reading hour, the weirdly specific shared joke, the new friend who understands why you are crying over a fictional man.

And, for once, you don’t have to make it happen for everyone else. You just get to be there as the main character and as your full, embodied self. 

Now that you know what happens at a romance reader retreat, join the Scotland romance reader retreat waitlist!